GLMB Syndrome
Yesterday Tommy and I had to venture out into the irradiated Covid-19 world to fetch some needed supplies, i.e. food. On our way, we passed a man standing in front of a gas station waving a homemade sign and gesturing to it for all of the oncoming traffic to see, and, of course, honk at. At first we couldn’t see what the sign said, but then he turned around…
“THANK JESUS”
Honk honk.
I had no idea Jesus was responsible for cheap gas. When did he become a member of OPEC? Oh well, thanks for under a dollar fuel…hey, do you think you could do something about this virus thingy hanging around, or is it just the gas prices?
I’ve seen people with similar signs a lot recently. I often see a man on a bike with a sign attached to the front basket that reads “Trust Jesus”. I’m not sure I trust THIS guy. Based on the way he looks, I assume he smells like one of those toes you have to cut off because of gangrene. I’m not trying to sound elitist, but when I drive past him I make sure my windows are rolled up. I want to edit his sign to read “Trust Soap”.
I see it with the homeless, too. Always on highway exit ramps with their handwritten signs, “Anything helps. God bless”, “Please help, God bless”, “Homeless and hungry, God bless.” I’m not sure I want your blessings, they don’t seem to work. Keep them for yourselves, you need them more than I do.
And, yes, I am a horrible human being.
I just don’t get it. I’ve never seen Jews waving signs, or Muslims, or Pagans, or Buddhists, just Christians. It’s weird. Is there something in the new testament that says, “And thou shall buyeth poster board and markers and go forth unto the world, waving my name at passersby.” I think that was CVS 4:20. I could be wrong. I have to attribute the need to wave Jesus’ name on varying types of cardboard to GLMB Syndrome, which, by the way, is a more viral pandemic than the Corona Virus.
What’s that? You’ve never heard of GLMB Syndrome? Well, Uncle Stevie is here to explain it to you!
Every time you see some sort of religious figure spouting off hate speech about some segment of the world, whether it’s the awful Jews, or the hated Muslims, or the “going straight to hell” gays, it’s GLMB Syndrome.
People showing up at your house, uninvited, knocking on your door to spread the “word of God”…GLMB Syndrome.
Retailers refusing to service a segment of the population because of “religious beliefs”…GLMB Syndrome.
A hideous woman with a checkered past who won’t give out marriage licenses to same sex couples because it “goes against God”…GLMB Syndrome.
Any religious group referring to themselves as “the Chosen”…GLMB Syndrome.
Its effects are felt far and wide and the damage done is catastrophic.
GLMB Syndrome.
God Likes Me Best Syndrome.
If I do “this” or if I say “that” and claim it’s in God’s name, God will Like Me Best. If I hate the people that I think God hates, then God will Like Me Best. If I kill someone because they disagree with my belief system, God will Like Me Best. If I silence someone because I claim that what they are saying counters my faith, God will Like Me Best. If I outlaw a specific faith because it’s different than mine, God will Like Me Best. If I force someone to worship the way I want them to, then God will Like Me Best. If I eat this, or don’t eat that, then God will Like Me Best. If I censor art in any form because I find it offensive to my faith, then God will Like Me Best.
It’s a common human failing, and it all comes down to ego. Ego is, at the same time, a horrible thing and a life saving need. Ego is defined by the Oxford Dictionary as “a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance”. Self-esteem is important, those who have a strong one are pretty much immune to degrading comments, toxic people, and self doubt. Having a poor self-esteem leads to insecurity, inaction, and depression. Self-esteem is necessary. Self-importance, however, is not. It’s a feeling of “I’m better than”, or “you are less than”, and this is where GLMB Syndrome begins to fester. What better way to be important then to have God Like you Best…and this is where humanity gets it wrong.
You see, ego is a decidedly human trait. Ego CANNOT be present in a perfect being. God, theoretically, is a perfect being, ergo, God cannot possess ego. God doesn’t need it, God is perfect, all knowing, all powerful. Ego is unnecessary. As such, a perfect being would not, and cannot, demand worship. Demanding worship requires ego and self-importance, two things a perfect being does not possess. When we say we must attend a church, or a synagog, or a mosque, to satisfy God’s requirements, we are instilling a human failing on a perfect being. A perfect being would not choose one over another, there is no need, all are equal as all were created by God. There is no “Chosen” faith, or people, or path. To be chosen means you are preferred, which means you are more important. To be chosen is to be human. For all to be equal, is to be god like and perfect. God is peace. God is love. God is happiness.
Don’t believe in God? God still loves you. God still wants peace. God still wants happiness.
Cast God out of your life? Curse God’s name? God still loves you. God still wants peace. God still wants happiness.
Set fire to the bible? Do awful things? Hate? God still loves you. God still wants peace. God still wants happiness.
Devote your life to one particular faith? God still loves you. God still wants peace. God still wants happiness.
It doesn’t matter what you do. God will always just be love, peace, and happiness. Commit your life to being horrible, violent, hateful? God doesn’t stop loving you, you just distance yourself from the divine. You create your own unhappiness, your own hell. God still loves. God is still peace. God is still happiness.
It’s time to stop attributing your actions and behaviors to “God’s Will”. Take responsibility for your own deeds. God doesn’t care who you hate, who you despise, who you tear down. God’s only desire is love, peace, and happiness. If you choose to live otherwise, if you choose to live with anger, it’s on you. Leave God out of it. They say the Golden Rule is “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” I disagree. I think the true golden rule is simpler than that:
Love. Peace. Happiness.
That is all.